The Power of Letting Go Lessons For Parents

My first child graduated from high school and I entered a new stage of parenting. The graduation process was a true personal growth opportunity for me and I had to learn to “let go”, just a little bit more. Watching my child navigate through the graduation journey gave me greater insight into the meaning of “training a child.”

Like many parents, my mission is to rear responsible, independent, and socially conscious children. During the months, days, and minutes leading up to graduation, I wanted to step-in and “demand” that she does things my way. It was challenging for me to watch my child do things the “hard way” when I thought I know of an easier more efficient way to get things done.

I relied on my faith, while implementing effective parenting skills. It was during this time I found myself encouraging her to build problem solving skills; while I stood on the sidelines. In the process of standing on the sidelines cheering, I found myself “listening” more and trusting her judgment. Throughout this process, I found peace by staying in the “here and now” and keeping an open heart.

Many of you may have experienced a range of emotions during graduation season, just know that this is only a moment in time. Enjoy and learn from each moment.

• Be Patient

• Breathe

• Don’t take the “I got it” personally

• Embrace the new relationship you are building with your child

• Just as you helped your child learn to walk, remain a steadying force in your child’s life

• Listen, Love, and Laugh

• Remember you once were your child’s age

This can be an exciting time in parenting. Similar to the birds, there comes a time to let the little birds fly. Be confident in the skills you have taught your child. Trust their ability to make good decisions. Of course, it is only natural to worry or feel anxious about your child’s well-being. It is during these times that you must remind yourself of the life lessons your child has learned. You will be surprised by what your child has learned from you. Continue to encourage their efforts has they enter into young adulthood.

Through this experience I have learned that my child needs me more, but only in a different way. Instead of “directing”, I am a “consultant” here for guidance. Embrace this new phase of parenting, and smile as your child explores new horizons.

How To Build Effective Communication

Are you happy with the way your children, spouse and co-workers listen to you when you speak? Are you feeling valued at work and at home? If not, take a moment to discover a way of communicating that may enhance your life from this moment forward. Imagine how your satisfaction in everything you do will change when you feel you communicate effectively!?

Image if you can communicate without conflict and get along easily with whomever you talk to.

“Sometimes it feels as if the more we talk, the less we are heard. But Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Robert Waldman have discovered a powerful strategy called Compassionate Communication that allows two brains to work together as one.In twelve clear steps, Compassionate Communication actually changes the brain structure of both participants in a way that helps establish a mutual bond. Free from conflict and distrust, we can communicate more effectively, listen more deeply, and collaborate without effort.Outlining the science, the strategies, and the practical application of Compassionate Communication in a range of personal and professional settings, Newberg and Waldman prove that words can change your brain.” (Newberg and Waldman)

The steps are:

  1. Relax
  2. Stay present
  3. Cultivate inner silence
  4. Increase positivity
  5. Reflect on your deepest values
  6. Access a pleasant memory
  7. Observe nonverbal cues
  8. Expression appreciation
  9. Speak warmly
  10. Speak slowly
  11. Speak briefly
  12. Listen deeply

These twelve steps can be used in your everyday life whether you are meeting people for the first time or dealing with people who you’ve had conflicts with in the past or just talking to your family. If you are a business coach, lifestyle coach, wellness coach, executive coach or any other type of coach these strategies can be used in your coaching business to incorporate mindfulness in your practice.

If you are a parent, school teacher, or caregiver of children look at step #10 Speak Slowly as it increases comprehension.

“Slow speech rates increase a listener’s ability to comprehend what you are saying, and this is true for both young and older adults” (Newberg &Waldman).

In fact, another thing that makes a huge difference to comprehension for children and adults alike is speaking in sentences of no more than ten words. It has something to do with the way the brain ‘chunks’ information.Therefore, from now on speak slowing and briefly.

What you say and the expression you have on your face is mirrored back to the other person. To elicit trust from the person you are speaking to smile like the Mona Lisa smiles in the painting of the Mona Lisa.

How simple is that?

Above all, take the time to actively listen! It makes all the difference in the world.